"are you happy?"

"are you happy?" is such a difficult question
I always say yes, because i have friends
I laugh at jokes, I go out a lot and have fun
my life isn't as bad as it could be, and I don't have terrible problems
it could be worse.

but the, one night at 3AM when I'm alone
still awake, lying in bed, thinking about life
I find myself crying my heart out
suddenly I convince that nobody like me, or nobody will ever like me.
I feel horrible
and I question everything I had

and I don't know if I was ever happy at all.