Scared

Sometimes being alone is exactly what I don't need.

Sometimes I need someone who will stay even after I call them the most horrible names I can think of.

Who will hold me and won't let go even after I beg them to.

Because when I'm alone the dark thoughts in my mind are the strongest.

They remind me of all the stupid mistakes I've made.

They remind me that my whole existence is pointless.

That is when I need you most.

That is when I need you to tell me that everything will okay and that what's pointless is thinking about that past.

I need you.

I know I don't tell you enough, but I do.

But what I'm scared of most is that you don't need me.

I'm scared to love.

I'm scared of being too dependent.

I'm scared that you'll be just like the rest.

I need stop thinking.